Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Stories about yours truly ... i.e. long-*ss post

So, uh, you know Accordions and Lace, right? Cause, I gotta tell you she sorta rocks ... and by 'sorta' I mean A LOT, she rocks a lot. She had this great post the other day where she answered 5 questions submitted to her by a fellow blogger and then offered to ask 5 questions to any other bloggers who wanted to participate ... yeh, I wanted in baby! So, Accordions sent me 5 of my very own questions and the instructions to keep this game going, here they are:

* leave me a comment with your email address saying: “interview me”
* I will e-mail you five questions of my choice
* you can then answer the questions on your blog {with a link back to my blog}* you should also post these rules, along with an offer to interview anyone else who emails you, wanting to be interviewed
* anyone who asks to be interviewed will be sent 5 questions to answer on their blog
* the questions will be individualized for each blogger

So here are my answers to my very own interview questions ...
1) Tell me about coming to the US; what were your first impressions, and what memories come back to you the most?
The first thing I said upon arriving in our new home was, "we're lost." I was, shall we say ... slightly confused. This was the fault of my best friend's mother back in the USSR, she told that the streets of NY city were paved in gold and all the buildings were made of silver (cliche! but some people really thought it was true, and to my 5 year old mind nothing could have made more sense, why else would we go there! Hello!). So when we arrived in Brooklyn, with not even a spot of gold or silver to be seen, I was certain that we were lost and just let my parents know so that they could start looking for the NY we had come for.

2) Why did you decide to be a lawyer?
On a whim. No seriously. I was supposed to be a doctor. Math and Science high school, Pre-Med Neuroscience major in college, took the MCATS, applied and everything but I don't know if I ever actually wanted it. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't but I knew that my family wanted it for me. Real bad and so I just did it .... until I realized my heart wasn't in it and I just couldn't do it anymore. But, to soften the blow to my family I figured I would get some sort of graduate degree (brilliant thinking, I know!). I took the LSATs in secret, only the Big Guy knew about it, and I did pretty well (ok fine I did great!). That is when I told my fam I was going to law school, they were caught off guard but they were really impressed that I had set out on my own, no help from anyone and accomplished something totally out my normal comfort zone. In the end, it was the best decision I ever made. I loved law school, I loved doing something totally different, and I am finally comfortable within my academic and professional environment.

3) What role do you see Judaism playing in your marriage and in your family?
How much time you got? Haha, this is gonna take a lot of explanation but I will try to boil it down to the essentials. My family is fiercely proud that they are Jewish. The would shout it from the rooftops if they could ... but they don't really know much about the religion/customs, they just know that they are Jewish. They know that their family members died because of it. They know that they were and are hated because of it. And, most of all, they know that they came from a country where they were marginalized because of it. That is why they are proud, they are proud to have survived, to exist, to represent, to be free. But when it comes down to practice, they are lost, confused, and for the most part misinformed. This is mostly due to the persecution that we faced in the former USSR. We were not allowed to practice and when you cannot share traditions with younger generations, those generations will obviously lose many of those traditions.

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In terms, of my marriage, my relationship with Judaism is very different from my family. The Big Guy was way into the Judaism when I met him, he was still searching for his own practice-comfort-level but he is very well educated on Jewish traditions and culture, he knows how to practice in the traditional sense, he reads Hebrew and most of all he loves being Jewish, it is a huge part of who he is. When I met him, I was very distant from the religion. I was like my family - proud to represent who I was for all those who suffered for it but lost when it came to defining what "Jewish" really meant. So I started going to classes, then I went to lectures, then I did some workshops .. I still do all of that to this day and the Big Guy is an amazing resource when I have questions or want to debate about one thing or another. I am still learning and he is still exploring but we are trying to find that place in the middle where we can meet and sit comfortably together.

4) What is the one thing that you think people misunderstand about you the most?

I get a lot of questions about why I want to have a wedding at all ... and I gotta tell ya, it grates on my nerves. I want to marry the person I love and share that joy with my family friends ... um what is there not to understand?

But, I do think that most of the questioning comes from the fact that I am kind of a tomboy .. and by that I mean, I am a no-make-up wearing, sports watching, hiking, fighting with the guys, aggressively asserting my independence kinda gal ... who never really thought that she would get married. So I get, people are confused why I want the stuff that is normally associate with "weddings" but just because I am those things, doesn't mean I am not also a party animal who wants to wear a beautiful dress and honor the traditions of her ancestors by binding together her life with the life of her partner. I think frequently, we want to categorize people .. tomboy, feminist, girly girl, diva, etc ...but most of the time, just one label doesn't apply .. even I like to slap on some lipgloss, some mascara, and pair of high-heeled beauties every now then .. granted that 'every now and then' is rare, but it happens! It happens! Bottom line, just cause I hate romantic comedies and I like sports, don't mean I can't like weddings ... especially my own!

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5) How did you know that you and your man were ready to get married?

I am not entirely sure. I was kind of anti-marriage when we met so we never really talked about it all that much. But then we started seeing examples of really fantastic couples, who got married and stayed fantastic! OR got even more fantastic (shocking! I know.) And it got me thinking, maybe marriage doesn't signify the end of your fun and sexy and happy relationship, maybe there is more. So, we started talking and I started exploring the world of marriage. Slowly, we both came around to the idea of committing to one another in front of our loved ones and we realized it was also a really great way to honor the traditions of our religion/culture. We couldn't be more excited about it now.

But the best is how I knew the Big Guy was thinking of proposing! We were listening to a song we both really liked at the time and I asked him what he thought the song was about. He immediately blurted out, "he is thinking about proposing to his girlfriend and he is scared." Then my Big Guy proceeded to turn bright red. It was sooo cute, I have clearly teased him about it mercilessly ever since.

Hope you liked my stories!!! And if you read all the way through .. wow! you are a trooper! Ok, now who wants to play???


Marie said...

Thanks for sharing. Really interesting to hear your answers. So I'm going to dive in and say 'interview me'! Can I e-mail you my e-mail address though? Hope that's okay! M x

Bridechka said...

Marie, definitely! I am excited to think up some good ones for you!

accordionsandlace said...

Oh man, I loved this! Thanks so much for doing this. I totally relished every answer. In order:

1) Ahaha as someone who studies immigration this cracked me up. Oh, the promise of America.

2) I am all about academic whims--love it. Also love the typically Jewish doctor vs. lawyer choice.

3) My family also came from the former Soviet Union and thus we have had similar issues. I am really interested in how you guys are learning together--that sounds wonderful and really rich.

4) I totally get this! Girly vs. tomboy is a false dichotomy! We can be both!

5) That story about your mister totally cracked me up. Ahaha.

Victoria Lynn said...

Thanks for sharing that! I loved reading it! :)

anna and the ring said...

How much do I love it when people share things on their blog. It's so interesting.

All I can say is, "I want more!"

Bridechka said...

I am so glad you guys liked me blabbering, thank you so much ladies! Your comments really mean a lot to me :)