Digital bride doll

I am taking the rest of the week off, seeing as I am heading up to the snowy mountains of Vermont. But I wouldn't leave you without a fun time-sucker to play with while you're on your holiday break...

If your looking for something silly and fun to play with, go to iVillage's Build Your Dream Wedding Dress.

Here's the one I made...

Enjoy and have a very happy new year!!!

Tagged again!

Yay I have bee tagged again! This time by the fabulous Bride Chic and  she seems to think that I am fabulous! Sweet!

Here are the rules: List 5 obsessions/addictions that you have, and tag back to the person who gave you the award. Post the rules. Tag 5 more people!

Here are my obsessions:

1) My friends and the Big Guy ... I have such amazing people in my life that I sometimes obsess over how great they are.

2) Water. Hot or cold, I am addicted. I drink it all the time. I am like that guy from Big Fish, born thirsty.

3.) Cupcakes. Well, really just the frosting ... Why don't we make this sweets in general, shall we?

4.)  Being the center of attention. I have a problem. I am working on it.

5.) Jeopardy. I DVR it and then the Big Guy and I play while watching. We are into most forms of trivia and crosswords cause we are dorky like that.

Honorable mention: the NY Rangers and the NY Giants ... and sometimes when they are not breaking my heart, the NY Knicks.


Here's who gets this Fabulous Blog Award now!

1. From Diamonds to Vows

2. Mother and Bride

3. Canadian Bride

4. The Relentless Bride

5. The Adventures of the Grosgrain Bride

Wishing everyone a wonderful day!

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For those of you celebrating Christmas have a very Merry Christmas and I hope you got lots and lots presents under the tree this morning! For my Jewish peeps, Happy Hanukkah!  I have been celebrating by eating all of the sufganiyot the Big Guy can make (sufganiyot was something I had never heard of until I met the Big Guy. They are a traditional Hanukah food and are basically deep fried jelly doughnuts, and come to think of it... they may be the reason that I love him, or at the very least, the reason why I am marrying him!)

And for everyone else I hope you have a lovely and relaxing day off and some quality time with the people you love.

As for me, I will be spending the day indulging in a time honored tradition for NY Jews on Christmas Day ... going to the movies and eating Chinese food with my friends. 

Enjoy the season everyone!

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Another pine cone related post...

My obsession du jour: pine cones as accents (as evidenced by the last post) and I am also a big fan of non-floral bouquets (as evidenced by my first post ever where I could dream about nothing but bouquets made of fluffy cotton). So you can imagine my delight when I saw this...


It comes to us via Once Wed and the best part is it is one of their fabulous DIY projects. The steps are pictured below and if you visit their site, they have detailed directions for creating this bouquet all on your own.

Personally, I think I would stop at step 6. Maybe just wrap the bottom in floral tape or tight ribbon, I am not so into the hanging ribbons and the hanky ... I like everything to be simple and clean. But I still think its a fabulous idea and for a more vintage feel, the hanky wrapped around it is perfecto.

Check out Once Wed for the details.

Seat reserver thingies (its a technical term)

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Simple, classy, and cute ... and definitely DIYable

Gift idea for the Big Guy ... or your guy

Its hard to find a good gift for a guy... and forget about trying to find something that will be meaningful enough to be romantic but also interesting enough for him to enjoy. That is why I am big time digging the 12 WAYS TO SAY I LOVE YOU JOURNAL. The journal offers prompts/teasers to help you get your words and feelings down on the page in interesting and sweet ways. It is hand bound in Rhode Island by Jason Thompson. And, the best part: it is only $28 at Uncommon Goods.

I am thinking of filling it out each month for a year before the wedding and giving it to the Big Guy on the big day ... but first we might have to actually set a date and find a venue (you know, just some small bumps in the plan).

Sample Sale Alert

Blowout Sample Sale - Extended through Saturday, December 20th

NY Wedding Workshop “How To Get the Most for Your Money” part 4 (the finale)

To close out the week of recapping the Wedding Workshop, I wanted to list some of the vendors that Lindsay Landman recommends as well as a few last money saving tips.

Clever Money Saving Alternatives

1. SugarFlowerShop.com

This tip blew my mind ... mostly because it involves cake. Wedding cakes nowadays can get super pricey, especially if you want fancy sugar flowers to decorate it BUT many venues offer a free wedding cake (and by free I mean included in your package price) but fairly few wedding venues have a titan of the pastry arts working for them. So here is the plan, take the cake that comes in your package and ask them to make it very simple (no embellishments), then go to www.sugarflowershop.com and order whichever flowers suit your fancy and just stick them right into that cake. End result = fabulousity.

 

2. Rightonthewalls.com

Love your monogram? Want to stick it everywhere? How bout your dance floor? Well those personalized dance floors can cost a pretty penny so to get the same effect on the cheap (well... cheaper) got rightonthewalls.com and get yourself one mama-jama of a giant sticker. The best part: stick on the dance floor before the party starts and at the end, they peel right off. No muss, no fuss.

3. AdornBrides.com

Got a yen for the blingy shiny things but a budget that only gets you one half an earring? Well then consider renting your jewelry! That way you can indulge in dripping diamonds without going into debt for the rest of your life. (Side-note: I am not really into jewelry unless it has some sort of meaning to me no matter how shiny it is but I have always been kind of a tomboy about that stuff and I think that if you are into the big and sparkly then this is definitely the way to go).

Some Lindsay Landman endorsed vendors:

CakesbyMona.com

CustomCookies.com

CheektoChic.com

Mjwcalligraphy.com

That is all for my report from the Wedding Workshop ... hope you all enjoyed it!

NY Wedding Workshop “How To Get the Most for Your Money” part 3

The wedding advice continues from the Wedding Workshop this past weekend lead by wedding planner extraordinaire Lindsay Landman.

Today we learn: How NOT to Lose Money 

1. Don't over commit to your vendors.

Got a guest list of 170 people? Well its very likely only about 150 of them will come, do not tell your caterer/reception site that you are having 180 guests thinking "Just in case!" Lindsay's wise words on this subject were "You can always add guests but never take away!" Once you commit to a certain number of guests, that is how much you will get charged for and even a few extra people adds up!

2. Don't over order.

(When she said this I thought to myself, "Oh no, she has radar senses for my compulsive over ordering fortified by years of mothers and grandmothers saying 'We aren't going to have enough for the guests! We should have gotten more!'") Lindsay's rule of thumb is that you should order 25 less favors/programs than you have guests. And don't worry you will still have one for your scrap book! Many people don't take the favors/programs home and often couples take on for the both of them. Why spend money on something that you don't have to?? Answer: don't!

3. Never get "drinks on consumption."

This though never even crossed my mind since I come from a family that takes vodka shots to celebrate any and every occasion... oh and also on days that end in "y" but I guess some others that are not trying to mollify a frenzy of alcoholics might consider this option. Lindsay's advice on this was steer clear! People are notoriously fickle with drinks at weddings. They order one, take a sip, put it down, order another, leave it on the table and it gets cleared, order another one, throw it on the floor and yell "opa!" ... then they order another one, pour it on that other guest who was mean to them in the bathroom... oh yeh and then they order another one.

4. Do not sign a contract for a hotel block that requires you to guarantee a percentage of rooms and nights.

It's self explanatory folks, your guests don't fill them and you get stuck with an expense you never expected to pay.

5. Don't book transportation for guests without having them confirm  that they will use it.

Another one thats pretty clear - don't spend money on it if no one is going to use it.

6. Do not secure a service through a vendor who does not actually provide that service him/herself.

Lindsay's example, if your band does not have members who play strings but your only wish and desire is to have string play you into your ceremony then contract with a string musician independently do not ask your band if they can get you someone. Sure they will probably find someone and they probably even have great contacts but they will add on a hidden finder's fee for the small effort they exerted in placing the phone call. (PS: Another tip from Lindsay - if strings is the answer to your heart's true desires call the Juilliard school and they will set you up with some string musicians).

7. Do not have a bajillion hair and make-up trials.

Those things cost money! Once you find someone you like, go with it ... we have come back to wedding motto #2 again: don't make yourself nuts searching for the "best" when great is staring you in the face.

Sample Sale Alert

I got a gown at a Priscilla of Boston Sample Sale ... for 85% off ... thats right people your girl does not pay retail!

NY Wedding Workshop “How To Get the Most for Your Money” part 2

Negotiating Your Contract ... more tips from Lindsay Landman.

Here are Lindsay's main tips for understanding your vendor contracts and negotiating to get a better price:

1. Read your contract carefully.

Yeah ok, no brainer, right? But Lindsay made an interesting comment about this point. Don't get caught up in the legalese (I know the best part of this post is that I am a law student quoting this advice ... on a side note: soon to be former law student!!!). Almost all of the contracts give the vendor all of the legal protection and if you cancel they get everything you get zilch (if your really worried about it, look into insurance). 

But do carefully look over what products/services you are getting that are explicitly stated in the paper work. If they promise you something and you don't see it in there, go ahead and write it  in in pen (advice from a law student who is not a practicing attorney but did get a good grade in her first year contracts class: draw their attention to the fact that you have made this addition before they sign... trust). 

2. Ask questions!

A good one that Lindsay suggested is: "What is going to cost extra that is not included in here?" I think this is a great question. Often there are hidden fees and/or taxes that may be hard to find all of the jargon in the contract. Specifically ask about set-up fees, delivery fees, and gratuities. You read that right, ASK about gratuities. That way you don get hit with the "Well it is customary to give X% tip to joe, jack, and jim...." at the end of the night when your happy and tipsy and not in any mood to discuss.

3. Some things are not negotiable.

If you are getting married at a hotel they sometimes employ union staff and unions often have set fees for certain services (coat check, cake cutting, etc...).  Union fees are not negotiable. Don't bother arguing them, its not worth the stress.

4. Ask: "Where can you be flexible?"

That question is a great way to start the conversation. Let them know that you really would like to use their product/service but that you want to know where they can be flexible in terms of their rates and/or what they can give you for those rates.

Sometimes it is easier for vendors to throw in perks rather than lower the price, but that still means that your getting the most bang for your buck. For example a photographer is more likely to give you some extra time or a caterer can throw in more food (an extra appetizer for example) rather than lower their price. ASK. Always ask.

5. Ask: if you can pay the entire cost up-front for a discount. OR Ask if you can pay in cash for a discount.

BUT remember ALWAYS get a receipt of your purchases. Many vendors will give a discount for cash because when they accept credit cards they are charged a fee. Some vendors will offer a discount for paying upfront (especially during wedding light months like during the winter and especially if they are a small business) in order to raise capital right away rather than wait for it.

6. Remember to ask your caterer if you can negotiate the price of your vendor meals.

Another tip in this category was that if you have a huge band, ask your band if they are willing to do a "meal buyout" (where you give them cash to either run out or get delivery and eat before they need to be on).

7. Most importantly, be ready to walk away.

Not as a bargaining technique but because sometimes things just don't work out. Be realistic! If the price is not for you and they can't or won't work with you on it, then it might be time to move on.

  Remember Wedding Motto #2: Best is the enemy of good! Maybe you will find something even better that won't break the bank.

Tomorrow: The Wedding Workshop series continues with "How NOT to Lose Money"

NY Wedding Workshop “How To Get the Most for Your Money”

So because of my good luck I got to go to the NY Wedding Workshop “How To Get the Most for Your Money” this past weekend and it was really helpful. It was not at all like those huge wedding trade shows where everyone shoves flyers and postcards in your face, this was an interesting and insightful presentation lead by expert wedding planner Lindsay Landman.

I am going to be highlighting some of her advice this week (along with my interpretations of said advice). Some of the comments are common knowledge in the wedding universe but I am thinking there are probably some other clueless (or at least semi-clueless) brides out there just like me who could benefit from Lindsay's experience.

General tips for staying on track with your budget:

1. Set your budget and then aim for one or two vendors to be below the prices you have allotted for them... it gives you "wiggle" room and then you will have money left over to either pocket and put away, add to some other aspect of the wedding, or to use for those unexpected expenses that sometimes creep up on you.

2. Use a budget chart.

Lindsay gave out the one she uses at the event and mentioned that she doesn't really like may of the ones offered online since they don't give you a sliding scale for each item to work with and they don't ask for your number of guests. Her exception to this was the budget calculator on Brides.com which she gave a thumbs up to (figuratively speaking there was very little actually thumbs up going on... it was very dignified). 

3. Make a list of priorities.

This piece of advice really struck me as on point! I know for sure there are certain things I don't care about even a little and so I should allocate my budget accordingly... seems simple right? But sometimes its the simplest ideas that are the most clever. This is where the whole sliding scale thing comes in, don't care about invites (like me!) move that money into something that does matter to you (like yummy yummy food and good music! ok so maybe those are just my priorities). 

Lindsay relayed her experience dealing with couples who spent too much money initially on stuff they didn't really care about not realizing they could have found a better price for slightly lower quality product (for example not having letterpress invitations, which I hear are very pricey, if thats not something you actually care about). 

4. Look for the "Hidden Value." An example of a hidden value is a bridal suite offered by your ceremony/reception location. It's a hidden value (not just for the convenience) but because you can save money on transportation. If you can get ready at the ceremony site you do not need your transportation to take you there from your home/hotel, therefore you save money because you would have had to pay them for that time. 

More to come in the next few days... 

Tomorrow: Contract Negotiations (I know, I know ... control your excitement people!)

Buy things and be good for the world ... at the same time!

Hey folks if your planning on buying favors, buy them now! Beaucoup is donating $5 to charity from every order this week... happy shopping!

At Beau-coup, we believe that we have the best jobs in the world. Everyday we are given the opportunity to take part in helping to make your special occasions more unique and memorable. This year, to give back we are donating $5 for every order over $30 we receive between Monday, 12/15 and Friday, 12/19 to Second Harvest Food Bank, a local non-profit working to provide food for low-income households. One hundred percent of the donation will go toward the organization's Annual Food and Fund Drive. Shop this week to help us give back to the community! Happy Holidays!

Im it! Im it!

 I have been tagged by both my girls Canadian Bride and Mother and Bride! Woohoo, my first tag! Here goes...

Here are the rules:
1. Link to the person that tagged you (done)
2. Post the rules on your blog (done)
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself (below)
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs (below)
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website. (done and done) 

6 things about me....

1. I have more than one name (and I am not just talking about the plethora of nick-names I have been given either). I have a Russian name and an American name. My American name came about because in my first day of school in the states no one could say my real name and kept shouting out variations, in a panic I shouted yes to one of the variations and it stuck (but its not what my passport or driver's license says my name is either! So, actually, I have three.)

2. I am obsesso-crazy in love with cupcakes but the best part about that is that I never eat the whole cupcake, I only eat the frosting and just the top of the bready part (I can eat like four at a time, but I never eat the bottom bready bits....unless they have some extra frosting to put on them of course!)

3. I love love love football (american not soccer) and hockey, I like basketball and rugby a lot, and I HATE baseball (a fact that perplexes, exasperates, and overall saddens the Big Guy).

4. I am superstitious (I cant help it, hellloooo! I am Russian!). Another one of my quirks that the Big Guy teases me about mercilessly but is really sweet about tolerating and sometimes enabling. Poor guy, its not easy to remember that its bad luck to put keys on the table, that we can never kiss through doorways, you can't leave empty bottles on a table, that when I spit three times in a row it has nothing to do with a bad taste in my mouth, and that I will never ever kill spiders! Amongst so many more ...

5. I love to sing (and I am kind of good at it too, not great but good) but its probably the only thing in the world (besides occasionally my writing/poetry) that I am legitimately shy about (I am not exactly what you would call a wallflower). I sang at friends' wedding last year and my knees were shaking loud enough to keep rhythm for me but I was so overwhelmed with secret joy that they asked me that I couldn't stop grinning from ear to ear every time I thought about it (a big goofy smile... very very goofy I tell you!).

6. I am loud. Crazy loud. Especially when I am telling a story (another one of my favorite activities besides doing impressions of people). I get so engrossed in telling the story I lose all volume control ... occasionally people leave their tables at restaurants next to me and my girlies ... its embarrassing but true.

My tagees:

Double Happy Too

chapeaux d'étudiante 

It's a Long Story

Mrs. in May

My Island Wedding

A Glimpse of the Girl Next Door

I won!

Woohoo! Today the Unbride made my day because she let me know that I won her NYC Wedding Event contest. So now I have to stick my nose even further into my books cause I will be taking one large study break on Saturday when I go to the 

New York Wedding Workshop’s “How to Get the Most for Your Money” event!

I will be sure to dutifully report back on all of the advice.

Finals Tally:

Exams: 1 down, 2 to go

Papers: 1 half-done, 1 to go

A story thats rarely told....

Living in the NYC give me some truly amazing opportunities in terms of arts and cultural events (ya know... when I am not studying for finals....).

Recently, I got to see an incredible documentary called Refusenik (the screening was organized by the amazing Yevs). It is a powerful but rarely told story about the Jews who fought just for the ability to leave the former USSR. They were refused, ignored, jailed, exiled, and put into labor camps just for exercising their rights to practice their religion and trying to leave the country that oppressed them.


If it wasn't for the actions of the brave Refuseniks and all of the amazing civil rights activists who protested the USSR's actions all across the world, then my family would still be in Belarus, I would still not know what it means to be Jewish, I would never have met the man that I am going to marry, ... I would not be leading this charmed life.

I can only hope that when they look back on the suffering they had to endure, they know that it gave life and liberty to over a million families. And when I stand under the chuppah, face the Big Guy in front of all of our families, hear the melodious Hebrew words fill the room, listen to the words of the Rabbi... I will know that this moment in my life belongs entirely to and is only possible because of the Refuseniks.

My apologies...

if my blogging this week is a little ... sluggish.

I am in the middle of my last set of law school finals ever so I am going to spending every waking second hitting the books... but... a girl's gotta eat right? I am gonna try to put up a post or too during my study breaks but I won't be back to full force until next week.

hope ya miss me ;)

Pretty, pretty (DIY?) centerpieces

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Simple, modern, beautiful... check, check, check! ... And potentially doable for me and Yevs regardless of our lack of floral abilities, no? I think yes!

Sample Sale Alert

Vera Wang Bridal and Bridesmaids

Samples and overstock for 35% - 75% off

The New Yorker Hotel, 481 Eight Ave., at 34th St, NYC

December 13, Saturday 9 a.m. - 5 p.m.

via Daily Candy NY

Wedding motto #2

 "Le mieux est l'ennemi du bien."

- Voltaire

Loosely translated the sentiment is "the best is the enemy of good." ... Or in other words, stop driving yourself crazy for the best, most absolutely, supremely perfect things and start paying attention to all the perfectly good things your passing up along the way. 

I am forever trying to keep this in mind.

Why do people ask me stupid questions?

Ok so I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt but I am seriously overwhelmed by the amount of idiotic (and wedding/marriage related) questions that seem to come flying my way.

Before the Big Guy and I got engaged we were dating for a really long time and relentlessly we would get asked, "Why haven't you guys gotten married?" or "When are you gonna get married already?" Now besides the inherent lack of tact it takes to ask anything in this line of questioning, there is also the complete and utter deficiency in common sense to ask uninvited personal questions about someone else's relationship. If you're close (and I mean CLOSE) family member then it may be acceptable to inquire into the relationship of your child/grandchild but if that does not describe you, then put the detective act away and honestly chill!

But, my absolute, all-time favorite has got to be, "So, are you engaged yet?" This was asked not only by people we hadn't seen in a long time and not only by older relatives but by acquaintances and friends who we saw on a regular basis in our age group!!! 

My real problem with this question is, if you feel that you are close enough to us to ask this preposterously stupid question then wouldn't you assume we would have TOLD YOU somehow??? I kept wondering if these people thought that I had Alzheimer's. As if they will ask, "Are you engaged yet?" and I will say, "OMG! We are! I totally forgot to tell you until just this second that you reminded me! Thank goodness for your constant pestering or I would have forgotten to tell anyone that the man I love has asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. Silly me!"

So when we did get engaged (and announced the news pretty well I might add), I thought well at least the idiot parade of engagement interrogation is over. Yeh people will ask about planning process and stuff like that but at least it won't be the same stupid "are you?" over and over again! Ahhh! How naive! How wrong! I learned my lesson today, when friend of mine from high school (whose wedding I recently attended and who I had planned on inviting to my own) asked me, "Hey, are you MARRIED yet?"

More pretty shiny things...

Ok, what is better than something pretty? Something pretty with meaning.  I don't really like to wear jewelry without any sort of meaning (either given to me by someone special, or symbolic of  something important to me). That is why I love, love, love.... Dogeared Jewelry... Have I mentioned that I love them??

You can never go wrong when your gift gives not only to your friends but to charity too. So go with the one of their Find Cure Necklaces.

I am also a huge fan of their Make a Wish line.  Like the BFF necklace perfect for one of the fabulous chicas in your life...

Or maybe your friends are more some tough cookies? No problem! get them the Kick Ass Make a Wish Necklace.

Or maybe you need some luck in your life? Enter the Lucky Bamboo Necklace.

Or maybe you know someone who needs some knowledge knocked in to her... I mean encouraged! Get her some Pearls of Wisdom.

Yes they definitely have more than just necklaces (bracelets, earrings, etc...). And yes the price is right ... well the price ranges anywhere from $10 - $200+ but all of the stuff above is under $50 (most is way under!). 

Don't forget to get something for yourself... you deserve some wishes too! 

Threadless and fancy free

This morning I am thinking about the coolness that is Threadless T-Shirts. Regular shmoes like you and me draw designs and submit them to the website. Then people vote and if enough people are into it, the design gets immortalized in super cool t-shirt form. Since I have less drawing ability than a frog on crack attached to a pencil, I cannot help but be super impressed with the designs of others. I am currently using this as my resource for New Year's presents (yep, I am weird and Russian, we give presents on New Year's).  And the price is mucho mucho correct, it ranges from $5-$20 for t-shirts (they also have hoodies, onesies, etc.)

I know this is not technically wedding related.... but ..... uhhh ..... you can buy them as gifts for b-maids or g-men! There, now it is wedding post!

Here are some of my fave designs: 

So Lovely by Sven Grothe

          Russian Newborn by Blake Suarez

Ashkefardic Ultra Refoconservadox by Shmouel Halimi 

Spaceba

I am thankful (even though Thanksgiving is over).

I am thankful that twenty years ago exactly, my parents and grandparents were brave enough to leave their home, their friends, and their families to come to a country where we could have a chance at something more.

I am thankful that they were not scared off by the prospect of leaving behind everything familiar, everything close to their hearts, and gamble to give me opportunities that they could only dream of.

I am thankful that they gave up their jobs, titles, respected positions not knowing what kind of work they would be able to get, all because they knew it would be a better place for me.

I am thankful they left a country which stamped our religion on our passports just to make it easier for them to identify the Jews.

I am thankful that they followed their dreams even though the only thing that lay ahead was hard work and uncertainty.

I am so thankful for the life I lead here and all of the things that my family has given me and given up for me.

Spaceba.

Sample Sale Alert

For all my NY ladies...